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to lose a friend

by Oh November

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1.
Not all dreams come to be Like the leaves, I'm falling free I had my eyes fixed on a prize But sometimes it don't arrive This mind is weary Of living dreams Something I might Not ever see There's a light It shines What I got Not hope to find oh This world could be so sweet Not all people are what they seem Least not what I hoped they would be This world could be so sweet But we're all busy chasing dreams
2.
I took the easy side They told me it was I It’s all in my mind Gotta make it right
 Surrounded by the type To look away and hide My fragile open heart You held it from the start
 I wanted to be free Release this yoke from me As you became the giver I became the thief
 It’s time that I believe myself Listen when I cry for help Trust that little voice inside It’s saying I’ve a right to feel alive
 When I thought I had you familiar becomes truth Now I’ve seen a light But this one’s not so bright
 We tried the narrow road Such confidence and hope It never took us home So I'll be wand’rin on
 Some ways I can’t live Trying to forgive Cause something in me knows Not every soul is home
3.
so long 04:58
See it all for what it seems On the surface, so good and free Why do I find after all this time I’m still wanting Hold em close, then far away What I wanted most, to feel safe Something I can’t name Why am I ashamed For what I couldn’t be For what you thought you saw in me For the one I’m supposed to be And what I wish you could see So long, my ideas Of you On the same page so it seems But there’s something underneath And I don’t know if I can set it free I see you, for what you are we’re all trying, broken hearts Can I thank you for what you’ve done And still want more So long, my ideas Of me, of you So long, cause these ideas Are hurting me, they’re hurting you
4.
let it be 04:51
Something's gone past Before my eyes Gotta let it by Some things they fade With a little time I guess it Wasn't mine Let it be Let each one go free Some things unchanged Some things unchained Not for me to take Some people give Some they take But you can't have me You can't have me Let it be May each one go free, go free Let it be May each one be free And I won’t try to hold on Cause all that’s good is gone
5.
interlude 1 00:44
6.
interlude 2 01:00
7.
I’m a Little Cold That’s November for ya This trampoline is old ain’t got much to show ya -long or short? These streets are getting loud After a long hard working day Everybody’s getting out But alone they must be…… going These lights are always bright Even in the middle of the night Those billboards make me sigh Oh the city’s never sleepin I don’t know what’s ahead Only what’s behind Thank god I’ve got some mystery Left in this life The belts are screaming out That ol thing rollin around Not everybody gets to have A shiny thing in which to drive These trees are mighty bare The grass is getting fair The leaves are blowing dry As the summer comes to midnight — Im moving slowly Not to quick to going Cause somewhere I dream Is never better than where I sing I’m giving all my things Hoping to somebody they will bring A little happiness If not what’s the point of all this shit
8.
Sometimes I wonder what I’m doin’ Where am I goin’ Sometimes I think I got too much time to wonder Sometimes I think about you Wonder how you do you still tryna to see, to find what you need Is he still living with you Sometimes I think that I I got too much on my mind I try and I try and I try and I try to get by The problem with being alone You begin to try and hold Something bigger, something bigger When there’s too much on your mind Only natural to try to find The easiest way to take it away To calm the mind Where’s spirit where’s the light I thought I knew for a time Where’s that voice that they call God He’s quiet or he’s gone how could it be, at such a time He’d leave me If you’re hearing this I hope that it’s a gift I hope you know That this Is saying I forgive No matter what you did It ain't something I couldn’t and if I can let you go You can be free on you go if I can let you go You can be free On you go Free and on you go Free and on you go
9.
Something about mystery that hurts Oh I’ve tried and I can’t seem to find the words You like to think you know Come so close to a soul Then there’s something about the mystery That hurts You walked a lonely road by my side Shared a couple drinks staying up at night Talkin bout the world People that’ve hurt all the wrongs you wish you could make right I needed you I think you needed me Weren’t sure who we wanted yet to be Walked a few miles A little too high Wondering if we were being followed home Oh time loses things and makes its way And tomorrow we won’t look the same Haven’t seen you in a while Oh I miss that good ol’ smile The way you could have anybody talkin’ Oh oooooooo One can wonder how much they’re thought of Pains to think about being forgotten Most times I try to see Beyond you and me Yet here it’s late at night and still I wonder Waaaaoooo waaaoooo Oh you always wanted to grow never wanted to grow old Always tryin’ to find A way to live our lives Not stolen Well I did it I went away I never thought you wouldn’t say A dam thing A dam thing A dam thing, to me Right now a little bitterness Is like a sweet and salty kiss Oh it brings me a little bliss Just for a moment, remiss I hope you find yourself some quiet Somewhere you can sit and wonder If its really worth the game to let it fall away I wonder if that mystery will hurt
10.
i won't wait 05:24
Sometimes you don’t know When to let go No reply shows Aint no time to wait however you go As your night shows Remember all those Memories And I won’t hold you down And if you come around Look me up and I’ll come on down Oh I’m slow To carry on You don’t have to wait I hope your green grass Oh it grows fast Those tomatoes Red on the vine I hope you find your Purple horizon Though I won’t be there Fallin’ asleep at your side And I don’t need to know I guess I don’t need to know I don’t need to go To find out I hope the city Keeps your lights on And if you leave that You’ll find what you want Oh i’ve had the time to cry cause it’s wrong But sometimes souls divide Couldn’t seem to grow May your tree know Though there’s a plateau You can reach Up to the sky Take that sweet sweet heart Fly away Yeah take that sweet sweet heart Be free When you ask me to I’ll explain it all to you but you don’t seem to want me to So I won’t wait I won’t wait

about

The first half was written in 2019. A collection of songs that chronicled the developing understanding and subsequent upheaval of most of the relationships in my life. Things were not working, and could only be resisted for so long. Life uprooted and moved west. To a place where everybody was new. Yet still there was attachment to a homeland, a sense of longing for what was familiar, even if miserable. And then another thread from home broke in two. The rest of the songs came along. Trying to understand the ending of a relationship with no closure, just silence. Oh the things your mind can produce when there is endless silence. Eventually you have to move on, without any answers to guide you in your grief. I suppose that is how it will always be.

I started the process of recording these songs in 2020. There was a spark of an idea for simplicity, but the pressure of the music industry had me feeling constantly inadequate. The marketing, the promotion, the audio quality, the ideas of being a “musician” haunted my efforts and caused me to put more energy into creating a product than expressing myself authentically. I dug into this world until my sense of inadequacy became so strong the project paused altogether for months.

I’ve always loved the raw recordings of my time songwriting. There is an effortless flow that combines so beautifully with the sounds that surround me, nature or man-made. It feels real and present. And yet the standard of music that is being presented on music platforms is of a nature that I cannot produce myself, nor do I have the money to produce. I didn’t believe it should be this way yet the inadequate part of my brain told me it was my only hope at success.

After months of telling myself I didn’t know what I wanted to do, I realized I did, I was just afraid to tell the truth.

So here it is, the best truth I can tell, in the way I know how to tell it. Simple, uncomplicated, raw. I don’t care anymore about success. I don’t care about perfection. I care about producing something that is as real and as close as I can possibly get to those hidden parts of my soul that want to be acknowledged.

Enjoy.

credits

released March 4, 2022

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Oh November Golden, British Columbia

Oh November’s sultry folk tales take us on a journey through the muddy waters of relationship. Revelation and bitter heartbreak, she delivers the songs of a weary but hopeful soul.

With powerful vocals and uncertain honesty, an Oh November song is like looking out over a misty lake, contemplating if you were meant to be there or just got lucky.
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